Worries

Well today things aren't looking up for me because of several nasty things... I can narrate them all to you one by one if you'd pay attention and not press the Back Button or any other tab thingie in your browser...

I've just been through my classmate's house today, having gone and done some work with out Systems Development Class. We're actuall working on an Information System with the Department of Education and sad to say, things aren't looking our way this time - I guess we'll have to scrape everything we've got in order to get through this ordealing midterms.

The bad mood sunk in at that aspect of my IRL persona when the burden of having the entire program done fell on our side because the other side didn't quite manage to get through the necessities of the other side of the system. The alternative was, therefore, to place it on the original side of the system - the web-based one. While it may seem easy enough to do, we're quite lagging behind on the schedule already and it pains my ass to even find out that such a change would have to be applied NOW. Really, it pains me to find out about that because theres been a lot of time for changes, and now as we near the last minute everything shifts back to the old terms. It irritates me, although I do my best not to let it get over myself.

That one's for my IRL persona. Things aren't looking up for me in ROSE either, since powerleveling has taken its drastic toll and now we're inching in levels slower than what a turtle is capable of, no, seriously. It appears that the new terms I had in gaming, which is to play every weekends and holidays, isn't fast enough for me to obtain competitive levels in the community. But what the heck, we've got worse things to worry about, and one thing I'm looking forward to with ROSE one day is to join the ranks of the ROSE Gamemasters and sell my gaming soul to the MMORPG that has captivated it :D

Done away with Dave, my OL Persona, and it appears that Lance also has his own share of problems. Right now he's experiencing a serious case of Writer's Block. There's this plot that I would like to string together with the existing plot but the worrisome aspect of it is the link between them, which I cannot seem to finish well. It appears that my weaknesses lie on narrating or better yet, vividly describing battle scenes in such a way that the reader will be able to visualize clearly what the writer intends to relay in the action-packed scenes (supposedly).

Well, tonight's blog for me is a little tad too fragmented, since there's a lot of emotions mixing in my head right now - anger, worry, frustration, problems, the negative stuff. I hope this all clears up pretty soon...

Like what my classmate had said - wish it was January already *sigh*

The Sky is Falling!

Heh, you may have heard of that line from Disney's "Chicken Little" but in my experience just yesterday it was defined for me in an all new light :D.

This is how things happened...

I had just returned with my mother last night from her school, having stayed there for most of the afternoon. Well, naturally my first initiative was to change my clothes. I went upstairs and found our hanging line (the place where we hang our clothes, which stretched above my bed and was tied to a nail on the wall where my bed leaned and the other end on a metal railing high above the door leading to our balcony) laden with clothes hanging to be dried.

So I sifted through the drying clothes and attempted to take out some shorts. Then...

CREAK..

I instantly looked up at the other end of the hanging line, high above the door leading to the balcony, and to my horror the metal railing has somehow broken loose, now delicately hanging on to a single nail and threatening to fall off. Whatever force of nature made me stare at it for a pretty long time when...

CRASH!

I screamed in pain as the overhung hanging line totally gave way and carried the metal railing with it! The impact was so strong that the metal railings smashed on my head and apparently it carried the glass panel behind it through the wooden frame behind the railings. So CRASH it went and I ended up with a knocked up head, a bitten tongue, and a cut on my arm... not exactly amusing to welcome me, but it ended up with a new destruction to the nearly 30-year old house. Naturally the entire family heard the commotion and thankfully everything was fixed off.

If Chicken Little called it as the Sky Falling, maybe I ought to give it a different Falling term. Haha!

Triple Mayhem

In the real world I am known as Allan, the guy that my classmates call as the "Master". Why choose such a term I guess I'll never know, but apparently the connotation points out to my seemingly inhuman capability of earning good results in class without opening a single book or consulting notes too heavily. To tell you the truth, I never do know myself how I manage to do such a feat, but I guess even I couldn't understand the difference between my brain and theirs... I don't know, I dont intend to be boastful or arrogant about it, in fact, curiosity strikes me more than them!

That is my intellectual personality, one of three personalities that I possess in my everyday lifestlye. The second one, named Lance Brian Tracy Redfield (LBTR for short LOL), is in fact my literary side, a pseudonym I had adopted for myself as the (future - libre nmang mag ambisyon e amfufu) author of the Terra Nova series. Mark my words Lance is almost done with the 1st series final draft and he will make sure it makes it's way into publication!

So there, Lance. Lance actually makes up the bulk of my imaginative brain and my english capabilities. In fact, he even overrides the intellectual part of me sometimes in class and my mind drifts off to places of imagination... I once saw in a TV commercial in Cartoon Network to let your brain drift along and earn knowledge even while on the comfort of your very home. Let's just say I follow it too much :P

Then comes my alter ego, I mean it. He goes by the name of Dave, and he is my Online Life persona, whenever I serve as the Wikimaster of Philippine ROSE Online and play in the game itself. Dave is actually a name I derived from my first series in Lance's novel and I figured it would fit my character finely there. From there on I had even adopted the nickname Dave for my real life (kinda too far from Allan, isn't it?).

Yes, three personalities, all with three different dilemmas as of the moment... three heavy dilemmas that threaten their destruction... In fact, all problems are interconnected!

Ke Dave na muna... Dave is having serious problems in power-leveling in ROSE because of the arrival of EVO. I had thought once that EVO was every ROSE Player's dream, when they would finally reach a higher class and style of online gaming in ROSE and achieve a better status for their characters... well with the buggy realm that welcomed the entire community I guess everything went crashing down. I do hope it gets fixed pretty soon... thankfully though, another string of problems linked with this one keeps me from playing him. Otherwise I would just be disappointed of slow leveling.

Ok, Lance next. With Lance, I'm having stress problems in chaining the distorted storyline that he created with the previous draft of Series 1. Apparently reading it from another reader's point of view may seem interesting but reading it from his point of view makes the story look corny enough to be thrown into the trash can... his dilemma then focuses on bringing more interest into the story, which has recently involved a lot of fighting scenes. Romance may be a little too easy for him and he has even added Mystery to the genre, but I am confident he will make it through somehow.

Then comes me, Allan. Well, my problems center on my academic life, as you might have read in my previous entry, I may have experienced a lot of stressful emotional and mental stress lately, but by now most of it has been fixed and patched up and I'm feeling a bit more normal now :P, only with the exception of several academic requirements that I haven't fulfilled yet due to the swamped projects that nearly washed us over (I mean the entire class).

Well, an entry will follow this one in a matter of minutes. Toodles!

Lagging behind...

*Sigh*, my second post and I'm not exactly sounding happy... hooray dear reader, you're about to hear my very first rant :P

I've got three major stresses in my head right now as I type this, and in fact I had just logged out from one of them. The heaviest-weighing load on my mind right now is the upcoming Finals presentation we have for our Software Development track classes. Basically it's D-day for the entire class and the groups just pray that they don't incur our instructor's wrath, which normally doesn't wind up very well. Trust me, we've already felt a fraction of his wrath and have no intention of incurring it again.

Second, if you may even consider it so, is the ever-so-getting-behind Terra Nova (my very own handcrafted novel). I've been redrafting the first Series for the past four years and still I haven't made much progress in what I consider (and definitely will consider) to be its final draft. In fact, I've reached the sixth Series with an unfinished first, how idiotic can that get XD.

The third stress burdening my head right now and has a good bearing of effects on the upper two is my online life - ROSE Online. Sure, I may be well-known there as the Wikimaster or one of the nice (really?!) Artisans there, but behind that innocent face with the neck-length red hair lies a student in a terrible dilemma. For some reason my gameplay habits in the evening doesn't sit well with my dad, who, for some reason, has taken to being an enemy of online games in general (yeah, right, what do you expect from people who live in the past, damnit!). In fact, he always uses my online gaming "hype" (i call it hype or dedication, but he calls it addiction - ADULTS, so narrow-minded to new innovations, for heavens sake!) as a good weapon to throw at me whenever I do something that doesn't fit his "ancient standards", which include a various range of misdeeds - from simply waking up in the morning to staying awake playing late at night.

Honestly, I do know that I've been making a lot of mistakes myself, having been unable to get a decent sleep, all thanks to sleeping from 12-2am or so, depending on the mood, or maybe there's just something wrong with the way he wakes me up. When my mother wakes me in the dead of the morning every tuesdays and thursdays for my class (thats about 5:30-6am), I normally wake up even in her calmest call (and normally first - i dunno why, but maybe it's my attachment to my mother that does it) whereas my dad (whom i never had any inclination to be attached to) has already yelled at me at 7am for my MWF classes and still I fail to wake up. he even has resorted a few days ago to nearly hit me just to wake me up (yeah, he can be violent sometimes but what the heck, I've endured no better things whenever he gets angry) and he has even warned me that I ought to quit ROSE if this keeps up.

Quit ROSE? I'd rather DIE!

Which is why I'm in a bit of a depressed daze lately... haven't been able to think straight, think correctly, even act normally. It affects my studies, like it or not, and I am not ashamed to say that ROSE and my IT studies had formed a link that must never be broken - lest I go mad in the schoolwork tension. In fact, it is ROSE that fuels up my determination to get things done over with quickly. This is one thing my dad had always failed to see, no matter how many times I shove it up his nose. He fails to see the values and the "community life" in this MMORPG. He has shut himself in a world wherein his beliefs are the right ones and nobody else's belief could sway him, especially mine. He has always believed that ROSE is just like any other game, you get hooked into it and you just play for the sake of fun. He fails to notice something deeper than just the game, and as long as he doesn't understand that part of my lifestyle we will never have a quiet time with the issue.

Mark my words I will. I have endured his attacks on my online life long enough, and as long as I can play ROSE I will endure it longer. To show him that online gaming is not just gaming, but being with a community.

*sigh*, and I have given my first rant... yeah, boring read, maybe a guidance counselor ought to be the best reader for this one :P, but as it is, see you all next time, and I hope it won't be a rant then.

My very first entry!

Finally, my blogspot is born!